Monday, May 17, 2010

What Brings You Here Today?

Years ago a friend of mind described a reoccurring dream he had during the last year of his marriage. In his dream he had an enormous pimple on his face that defied excision. No need for a professional interpretation on this one. What my friend clearly reserved for his subconscious to wrestle with, I see many woman dealing with each time they look in the mirror. Imperfections become the vessel in which we load our worries and regret; as we tuck the loss of a loved one in that furrow between the brows, squeeze our career frustration into the lines encircling our necks and scatter regret among the dozens of tiny lines across our face, we begin to equate removing the signs of wear with emotional resolution.

In the, often emotional, description of “what brings you here today” I frequently hear a narrative that is not about looking younger, but looking hopeful. If a procedure can conjure back the face we used to see, before disappointment, betrayal, and loss took their toll, then maybe we can start afresh. While some people do cling to the past, and to their youth, I truly believe that others simply want to refurbish their appearance in order to take on what lies ahead. Those who discourage others from any alterations may not fully understand, or care to, the complex reasons one would choose to alter one’s appearance. But whether it’s a new haircut, braces, a tattoo, or the annihilation of a wrinkle, ultimately, we each have to find our own path to peace with our reflection.